Thinking of You
by echofinley
Summary: Series of Songfics with Belle and Rumple. Chapter !-Not the Only One. Belle finds somewhere to stay with good memories after banishing him, but it doesn't quite make her feel better. She feels awful but she knows so does Rumple. Chapter 2-When I was your man. After Rumple see's Belle kiss Will, he goes to the rabbit hole and thinks about what he should have done. Slightly AU
1. Chapter 1

Hi, so I've been writing this when I need a break from my other stories but I finally got it complete. It's kind of scrambled and has no plot but it has a lot of thoughts. The opinions in the story aren't mine but it's what I think Belle's might be, but I could be wrong. I really love this song and the singer and I hope you like it and please review. Thanks.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon A Time or the amazing characters, I also don't own the song Not the Only One by Sam Smith.**

Belle Gold didn't want to walk through the town. Not tonight, not in the dark, and not after what she just did. She had banished her own husband away from her. She had way too many emotions raiding her body. She wondered what he was feeling right now. Probably sad because he failed to cleave himself from the dagger. He failed to accomplish his goal, having magic beyond Storybrooke. Maybe he was angry because his own wife banished him. Belle sighed, she didn't know and maybe she never would.

She thought about where to go, where she could go. Her own house was completely not an option. Belle would not sleep in their bed alone. The house did have spare bedrooms, but not any that were made up. She wasn't even sure they had bed in them. They were mostly filled with antiques and relics. Even if she could've slept in the in one of the rooms, she wouldn't have. She couldn't take one step in that house, their house. So she walked from the town line in tears not towards their house but to a completely different one. She thought about going to Ruby's, but she didn't want to wake her up. Belle decided she just wanted to be alone.

She walks for forever, or at least that's what it felt like for her until she finally reached the mansion's tall black gates. She pushed them open and walked up to the front door. It was unlocked. She took a deep breath and walked in. Of course steps pping where they stepped as husband and wife was painful, but also oddly comfort remembering one of the best days of her life. She walked around the dimly lit house until she reached the elegant, broad staircase to the upstairs. She ran her hand up the banister and walked up the stairs with all the grace that years of being a lady of a castle had taught her. Striding silently down the hallway she made her way to their room, or the room they had stayed in during their brief honeymoon. The room looked exactly like it did. It only lacked the happy glow that was there when her husband was beside her in it. His hand grasping hers.

Belle's heartbeat was finally slowly down for the first time since banishing him. She took out the dagger and her phone out of her coat pockets and puit them on the nightstand next to the bed. She then shed her coat and slid off her dress. She still had the white button down shirt that was under her dress on, but she took off her shoes and stockings and then got in the bed.

For the first ten minutes she tried to not replay the whole ordeal. But Belle did. _What are you doing, _he asked scared. '_No. Please put the dagger down.'_ He coaxed. '_You don't understand_. _Please. Belle, Belle please.' _He breathed out her name again and again. She couldn't stand it any longer lying in bed hearing his pleas. She wondered if he was having trouble sleeping too. Belle whipped off the sheets and swung her legs over the bed. Taking her phone with her for a flash light, she trudged down the stairs and turned to two wide doors. Swinging them open she took in the magnificent ballroom. She flicked on the lights and turned off her phone light.

Her bare feet padded along the room and she circled under the grand, shimmering chandelier. Only hearing the soft steps of her feet and deciding it was all too quiet she turned on music on her phone and set it down. She walked across to the middle of the room as the starting notes began to play waiting for the intro. It finally came and the voice smoothly let out the first words.

**_You and me, we made a vow. For better or for worse._** A faint smile flickered across her face. She remembered her vows. Belle remember his too. She remembered every line, every word that made her heart swell and her stomach flutter.

**_I can't believe you let me down, but the proofs in the way that it hurts._** It pained her so much. She felt like she had fallen off a cliff but instead of dying she got to suffer and wallow in the pain. She wondered if he was as hurt as she was right now. She felt like she should have seen this coming. She remembered telling him, '_I finally realized all the signs I had been seeing were correct.' _She guessed she did see it coming but just ignored it. Maybe she was too happy to be married to her true love to notice where he was heading, what he was dealing with.

**_For months on end I've had my doubts, denying every tear._** She remembered waking up to a cold bed in the middle of the night. She had gotten used to it. He would always return and give her a smile, telling her not to worry. Then he would climb in next to her and push her gently closer to his body before they both drifted happily to sleep. She hadn't realized at that time that he would be meeting Hook or the Snow Queen. Now she knew he was going behind her back and keeping stuff from her. She just wished he would have told her about everything. It was too late now. When she was banishing him she didn't even give him the chance to explain himself. But even if she had would he have told her the truth, or would he have fed her more lies. She didn't know what couldn't happened If she had made a different decision, and it was driving her insane. **_ I wish this would be over now._**

As she swirled across the dance floor she was reminded of happier times when they had danced. After their first song they played more mellow songs, where they held each other and swayed. They simply enjoyed being in each other's embrace. She felt a tear come down her face and her instinct was to wipe it away, but she didn't. Who was going to see it, she thought. So she let the tear run its course, along her cheek and down till it splashed on the floor.

Part of her wished she hadn't figured out. She was happy in her ignorance. But she knew it was better that she found out. She had saved Hook's life. Another part of her was frustrated at Rumple for not telling her anything, he had let his own desire for magic in the outside world come between them. Maybe she was better without him, she thought.

**_But I know that I still need you here. _**No. She shook her head and the thought. She wasn't better without out him. Belle knew that for sure. She wrapped her arms around herself as the chorus was sung out strongly.

**_Cause you don't think I know what you've done_**

**_But when you call me baby_**

**_I know I'm not the only one_**

Everything was making sense now. She brushed it off at the time, now she knew. She remembered stepping out of the library at lunch time to share it with Rumple, only to find him missing from his shop. Or when she would try to plan a date but he would tell her he would be busy at the shop, or some other excuse. **_You've been so unavailable. _****Now sadly I know why.**

All those times he had been doing whatever he had to, to get rid of the dagger. Ultimately that's what the gauntlet led her too. **_Your heart is unobtainable_**. **Even though Lord knows you have mine.**

As the chorus played again she thought about the gauntlet. She tried to remember what she knew about it, what Rumple had told her about it. He said it led you to the thing the person loves most. Right? As she thought about it more Belle's eyes widened. She dropped to the floor. She was wrong. Rumple didn't say that, well not exactly. He said usually for most people. How could she be so stupid, Belle thought. Yes, the dagger was his greatest weakness. But what if it was only because it could control him to do whatever the wielder willed, even hurt her. Belle remembered what he said on Main Street where he killed himself along with Pan. _'And I love you Belle. You made me stronger.' _She was his strength. She felt terrible for believing him to love power over her, but it change the fact that he killed the fairies and was about to kill Hook. Or that he tried to kill Emma and get her powers into the hat. Why was he always trying to get more power?

**_I have loved you for many years. Maybe I am just not enough. _**She always struggled with that idea. Belle hadn't known, after he threw her out of the Dark Castle, that he needed his power and magic to find his son, Bae. She wondered if he really did love power over her. Sitting alone in the Queen dungeon gave her a lot of time to doubt there true love's kiss as he had. After having wondering for so many nights even after she was reunited with Rumple, she still had a small seed of doubt. **_You've made me realize my deepest fear, by lying and tearing us up._**

She sadly laid her head on the floor. As tears slipped sideways down her face she felt herself losing the strength to stay awake. She barely heard the chorus play for the final time. As she fell asleep a last thought ran through her head. She did feel terrible but so did Rumple. Both of them, being away from the other, felt like their hearts were ripped out. And so with a broken heart Belle's eyes closed and her breathing slowed tilled she fell into a deep sleep to the last words of the saddening song.

**_I know I'm not the only one_**

**_I know I'm not the only one_**

**_I know I'm not the only one_**

**_And I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, know_**

**_I know I'm not the only one_**

So that's it!:) I will update this with more one-shots like this but in no specific schedule. Please review or PM with thought, questions, or any Rumbelle feels!:) ThanksJ


	2. Chapter 2

_Hi, really quickly please read: the options expressed in this story aren't mine necessarily, it's stuff that the Rumple in this story might be thinking. However I know it's different in the show. Hopefully that's not confusing. On a sort of related side not, I haven't watched the latest episode do to life, and its tendency to be busy. Anyway hope you like it!:)_

**_Disclaimer: I don' own Once upon a time or the song! I don't own anything._**

As soon as he saw them kiss, he disappeared. The moment Belle kissed the man, he returned to the shadows, to the darkness. He felt foolish, but he couldn't stop the tears that came down from his eyes. He lost control of his emotions and stomped away. He almost forgot to cloud his presence in magic, but luckily he did. Otherwise the people of Storybrooke would have seen a crying Dark One, back in town, striding down Main Street. The kiss horribly replayed over and over again. Rumple tried as hard as he could to shake it from his head, but he couldn't. Soon enough he found himself at the doorsteps of the Rabbit Hole. Before going in he waved his hand. In an instant he looks 15 years younger, his hair is black, and he wore classes. A definite change from how he usually looked. However he kept his eyes the deep brown that they were. With a low sigh Rumple walked in the grimy bar.

He hadn't been there since 'Lacey,' or Belle when she forgot her memories. Lacey had begged him to take her on a date there. He had woefully agreed. He thought they might have a good time, playing pool and talking. Unfortunately it involved him watching 'Lacey' consume dreadful amounts of alcohol. He cringed remembering the heartrending date, seeing Belle like that. He tried to convince himself that he liked this new 'Belle' someone how encouraged his darkness and cruelty. Nevertheless he never could. He loved Belle, because she was his light. Because she was kind, and caring, and always saw the best in people. Always gave people a second chance. He hated thinking of 'Lacey', and who he had become with her. However he was so depressed that night, after seeing her kiss another man, he pushed it aside and sat down at the bar. As he ordered his third drink, and drowned his sorrows, a song played…

_Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now_

He downed the last of the drink and ordered another. As the song played the other people in the bar voices drowned out, and Rumple listened to the man gloomily singing his song.

_Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same_

_When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down_

_'__Cause my heart breaks a little when I _

_Hear your name_

_It all just sounds like ooooh…_

_Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize that…_

Rumple found the song extremely sad. It hit a little too close to home. He hung his head, his form stooped over the bar counter. He thought about her; Belle. Did she forget him so quickly? Was she happy, now that he left? Now that she didn't have to live with a beast. It was all his fault. If he hadn't lied and schemed behind her back; she wouldn't have felt betrayed. She wouldn't have lost faith in him. He shouldn't have let himself be consumed by power, and enjoyed married life. He should've been the husband Belle wanted, needed. He should've…

_I should've bought you flowers, and held your hand_

When Belle said 'I do', she made him the happiest man in _all _the worlds. But he threw out everything they had by pursing the dagger, and magic. He had the greatest thing in the world, true love, but now it was too late, Belle was lost to him.

_Should've gave you all my hours, when I had the chance Take you to every party, 'Cause all you wanted to do was dance _

He glumly nodded his head agreeing with the singer. Belle deserved dances and balls, lavish gowns, and jewelry. "I just wanted you," her voice came to him, reminding him of her confession at the town line. It made him sadder. Though the next lines of the song had him waving over another drink.

_Now my baby's dancing But she's dancing with another man_

All of the sudden his mind came up with cruel visions. They showed Belle and the man dancing in his shop. She had kicked off her shoes after a hard day's work. The man came up behind her encircling her waist. He turned her in his arms until hey found themselves slowing moving to inaudible music. Belle wrapped her arms around his keck. She slowly leaning up for a kiss, their lips inches apart. She moved tilted her head and then they kis- Rumple shook his head violently, shaking the vision. His heartbeat raced and his hands clenched in a tight fist. He banged the counter in frustration and anger. It caused some people to look over, but most were too busy with their own drinks, and their own problems.

_My pride, my ego, my needs, and my _

_Selfish ways_

_Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life_

Now she was out of his life forever. She had probably forgotten all about him.

_Now I never, never get to clean up the _

_Mess I made, ohh…_

_And it haunts me every time I close my eyes_

He _was_ going to demand a happy ending from the Author, but the only ending he wanted was with Belle. Maybe, he thought, maybe he should let her go. She seemed happier without him.

_Although it hurts _

_I'll be the first to say I was wrong_

_Oh, I know I'm probably much too late_

_To try and apologize for my mistakes_

_But I just want you to know…_

As much as it was going to pain him to let her go, he would try, for Belle. For her happy ending.

_I hope he buys you flowers_

_I hope he holds you hand _

_Give you all his hours_

_When he has the chance_

_Take you to every party_

_'__Cause I remember how much you loved_

_To dance_

_Do all the things I should have done_

_When I was your man_

"I wish you all the happiness in the world, forever." Rumple whispered before he placed a couple bills on the counter, and walked out, hearing the door slam shut behind him.

_Please review your thoughts or comments. :D_


End file.
